I need a cleaning women oh wait sorry "person"

Seriously my office is a mess. There are CD's and papers and all manner of computer and networking components. Stacks of free Network World magazines. You sys admins know what I am talking about. They send it to you even if you didn't renew. Then they send you messages and faxes and E-mails and threatening letters informing you that they will forward the matter to their attorney if you don't fill out their online form to renew your free subscription that you don't really remember signing up for in the first place.

We don't have cleaning people at the office so every two weeks or so I have to clean the bathrooms on my floor. How fucking stupid is that. Pay somebody the $300 or $400 a month to empty the trash and clean the shit. My trash can is always overflowing because I am the laziest IT person ever.

Well its wifies birthday this weekend and no baby sitters. Nope that's right any other weekend will be fine they say except this one. So now I have to call my Mom and see if I can be nice enough and beg and plead on my knees for her to come and watch my kids. I prefer her to watch them because she is free. Well not exactly free because I may have to promise to go to church for at least 2 Sundays to get her to come spend time with her own grandkids. Which she says she loves and misses but we all know that's bullshit because it's like pulling teeth to get her to play with them at all. But hey if I raised 6 boys I would be like

"To hell with the grand kids I did my time. They are only cute for the first 6 months or so anyway." J/K

So we went to the bar last night because Wife's friend called and wanted to sing Karaoke. I totally did not want to go having just finished 18 holes of magnificent golf but she convinced me because we were babysitterless over the weekend. So we haul our asses to the bar on a Wednesday mind you at 10 damn 30 at night. Jesus seriously I was so not excited to be going. My friend and I sang a little Poison. Ya Baby Ya. Every Rose has its Thorn. This is the best song to sing Karaoke to because it sounds like total shit no matter what. Which is the point of drunk people singing in local bars anyway. Right!

I changed a couple of words in the chorus.

Original version

"Every Cowboy sings a sad sad song"

My version

"Every Cowboy fucks his mom"

No body even noticed, however I was busting up laughing. Not because that's funny but because "I" think it's funny and I am 12, or so I am told repeatedly by the wife. Guess you have to know me. Not in the biblical sense but in the yea I know Cameron, he is a total ass, sense.

I never know how to end these things so

Fuck off